It has been one busy year for Luca Zaia’s Italy. From his power chair on the deck of the Italian Titanic, he has attempted to banish pineapples and kebabs, sell kiwi’s (who knew they were indigenous to Italy?) back to China from whence they came. He defended the Crucifix, Mozzarella di bufala and Sangiovese. He elevated Prosecco to the heights of Barolo and the once mighty Brunello. He was into everything, even collateralizing bank loans with wine. You name the cause and it seemed Luca Zaia was there to defend the proto-Italian position.
And why, you ask, is this of interest to Italian wine lovers? Well, dear listeners, there are a myriad of reasons. Luca said this last summer, “Italian vineyards are under attack.” The political is always involved in the doings of food and wine in Italy. And politicians can be a help or a hindrance to those who toil in the fields. Luca Zaia has been an enormous advocate for his Veneto homeland.
“Solo chi conosce bene la propria identità può costruire un ponte.” (Only he who knows their own identity can build a bridge.) -Luca Zaia
Will the new Italy banish tomatoes? They came from the New World. And chocolate? And potatoes? What about gnocchi? And corn? What will the polenta eaters do? How about Cabernet Sauvignon? Or Primitivo? Are they now indigenous, really? Or eggplant, brought to Sicily by the followers of Mohammed? Or rice, brought by traders through Venice from Asia? What will the Italians eat? Or drink?
From a younger country (albeit an older democracy) looking towards you from the shores of America, it appears you want to perform some kind of surgery to the body of Italy. Anyone who studies the culture and the language and the food of Italy, know that Italy is far from “unified”. But tread carefully, lest you take her back to a new renaissance of darkness in your desire to have your prowess magnified.
“Let them eat Panettone.” might be the apothegm, as long as you freely pour Prosecco to your legions of admirers (soon to be sans polenta?). Will you wage a larger Holy War to make sure there will be no citron or rum in any of the cakes in the land? Denounce the infidel eggplant and the pagan potato to your legions of followers as you march from Pordenone to Predappio in search of a purer and nobler expression of Italianism? Search for a new name, as the word Italy has no root in the land, it is merely a word invented by the Greeks during their hostile takeover of the Southern lands, those same lands that some wish to someday break away from? Will you break clean and soon? And retire to your eagles nest in contemplation of a new order in which your vision will someday be a reality?"Get life into you! I would you had half the courage and spirit this Señor Zorro, this highwayman, has! He has principles and he fights for them. He aids the helpless and avenges the oppressed. I salute him! I would rather have you, my son, in his place, running the risk of death or imprisonment, than to have you a lifeless dreamer of dreams that amount to nought!"
What are the Italians thinking? Here we have this major sea change in America, along with a world economic crisis, and they start getting down on their friends and neighbors? We have seen some far-out Italian politicians in the last 30 years, but this Luca Zaia, what planet is he from? This is whom the Italian wine industry has to lead them in the 21st century, to boldly go? 
In December, Dr. Zaia said,” We must launch the pineapple strike and of all those products that have nothing to do with the Italian agriculture. Yes, therefore, to zampone and cotechino. And no, instead, to the non seasonal products, that do not belong to our tradition and that, often, are cultivated in countries where it is still possible to use insecticides."
And a month later the Italians were banging the drums that they were the number one producer of wine in the world. For the world! The French had been defeated in the fields. So they felt emboldened. Even Dr. Zaia took time out from his anti-alcohol campaign to slurp some swill among the vines.
America has a new president, elected by a large margin, some would say overwhelmingly. His childhood home is Hawaii, and Zaia is throwing down on the national fruit of our president’s homeland. Meanwhile kiwi - which is native to China – is being sent from Italy to China. Whose carbon footprints are all over that?
Or they could all go back to riding horses in Italy, like we all do in Texas. Then Dr. Zaia could show off his horse-whispering mind-meld talents. Another 60 million horses in Italy wouldn’t have too serious an impact on global warming. It’s only 60 million methane producing mini-factories. Maybe they could feed espresso beans to the horses and the Italians could harvest them after they passed through the horses digestive systems, like the civets in Indonesia. Then it could be considered truly Italian.
Why am I so angry? It’s because I see politicians not understanding the way the world is going and not wanting to lose their power - their gravy train - so they work to keep people down by fear and ignorance. Don’t buy pineapples because they are not local, but let’s sell a non-indigenous kiwi to a country where the kiwi originated from, which just happens to be halfway across the globe. Then the rest of us have to clean up the politician's messes.
A. How can we believe a man who would sell out his friends?
Being born with a pair of beady eyes was the best 
The Lone Ranger: Only you, Tonto, know I'm alive. To the world, 
I have hunted you so long, I have become you.
I think what I think. I hate you all. 
How many times do I have to tell you? 
Well, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?
Never send a monkey to do a man's job.
As they say in Italy, behind every great man there is a woman. Or two. Or three, in the case of Dr. Zaia.
This was supposed to be the follow up to the last post. But I need a break from serious. So let’s have a little summer camp, eh? Besides, I have these wonderful pictures that are so timely.
Meanwhile, Montalcino has decided to upstage Spoleto, unveiling their operetta about “the little red wine that coulda-shoulda-woulda.” What a mess they have made of this Brunello business, to the point that the US has had to scare up a tomato scandal just to get a little ink.
And we worry about a wine list and its relevancy. How can one be so vacuous, so insensitive?
From Zardoz to Zaius
Anyway, seems that the administrators have wrestled the monitoring of the Brunello appellation from the Consorzio.
Look, it might not be all that wrong to appoint fellows like Dr. Riccardo Ricci Curbastro, president of Federdoc (National Federation of Voluntary Consortia for the Oversight of Italian Wine Appellations); Professor Vasco Boatto, director of Enology, Department of Agronomy, University of Padua); and Dr. Fulvio Mattivi, director of the analysis laboratory Istituto di San Michele all’Adige (the institute of enology, province of Trento). Still, the way it is being delivered seems like it comes straight out of the playbook of paterfamilia.
Eric Asimov blogs from The Pour about this. One thought he finished with resonated with me. He said, “Internal politics, local animosities, rivalries and disputes that may have little to do with the actual public issue may all be playing out behind the scenes.”
Odd, that in California they can add Syrah and Teroldego to Pinot Noir in an effort to boost the profile of a wine that in places like Burgundy and Trentino they rest on their own. Odd especially for Trentino, as Teroldego grows with Pinot Nero in proximity to each other. And two different wines are made and appreciated for their own merits.
We will see. But I wonder, will the world really care about Brunello once they’ve let their little operetta play out? Already we are seeing Brunello sales going soft. Again, the 2003 vintage won’t be considered a classic by many of us out here in flyover country. Then again, in flyover country it seems there are other concerns, like the corn harvest. And what to do with all of these tomatoes. And soon all those darn melons. It’s just too much for man and ape alike.
