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| Gran Sasso - Abruzzo |
In the workaday world there were a few people who stood out in terms of the way they approached their co-workers or employees. Some of these folks I really find hard to know how they slept at night, the things they did to their fellow humans. No, they didn’t torture any of us. But they did take advantage, and it all seemed to revolve around money. Some of those folks got really wealthy, with their fancy cars and motorcycles, lake houses and faux-French châteaux in fancy neighborhoods. They’re all getting old, those who are still among us. They aren’t going to get out alive. So, why did they do what they did, to those to whom they did it?
One fellow I gave his start in the wine business. He was selling long distance discount cards and perfecting his golf swing. He’d hit a wall. I took pity on him. His wife, at the time, asked me to help him find his way. I took him on, he was in fact a really good salesperson, which is to say that he had infinite lines of bullshit. And he parlayed it into a rocket-to-the-moon career that put him on the cover of magazines and provided him with all the money he could ever desire – generational wealth. But along the way he felt like he had to crawl over my back to get there. He buggered me good. And all I ever did was open the door for him.
He was just one of a handful of folks who were like that. Maybe I misinterpreted our initial friendship. I have a bad habit of misreading friendship. In fact, I keep a list of erstwhile friends I have had over the years that just de-materialized, to the point now that I have made a study of it. I didn’t know besides transactional relationships, of which I am very familiar, that there was also this category of temporary friendships. Covid taught me that. People were isolated and looking for outlets, for conviviality. College can foster similar occurrences, as well as the working world. I’m getting to know new things about myself and my tolerance for such things.
But to mix friendship with business can be a very slippery slope.
I had this chum in my business life. We spent a lot of time traveling through Italy. I really thought of this person as one of my best friends. And while he didn’t take advantage of me or screw me over, like the fellow in my earlier mention, once I was done with the working world, the camaraderie that we shared dried up, like the dead sea. Nothing here to see but ghosts.
OK, I get it. People move on. They have families, young ones to put through school, older ones to care for, new ones coming into the world. Everyone is involved. Everyone is busy.
I once had a teacher in grade school who told my mom, “Your son is too sensitive.” Guilty as charged.
So, how do I navigate this world from here? Well, the ones who screwed me over royal are history. The ones who ghosted me are in the wind. Nothing I can do about that. The ones who are passing through, well, let ‘em pass. Kind of like a wine collection in a way.
How so?
Well, I’ve been decreasing my wine collection quite a bit lately. I had an air conditioned “room” and a wine cooler. Now that room is slated to be put to other uses. Meanwhile some of that wine is just getting past its prime. And we’re not drinking that much wine, anyway. So, time to pare down.
I think that is sometimes the way it is with human interactions too. We all have a finite time here. Best to make the time count.
Yes, I’ve indulged this space with some of my grievances, but the bottom line is that those who have wronged me, I’m content to have them go in peace. And to those I’ve wronged, I’m more than happy to leave them in peace too. And to those who were here for some brief moments, I like to think of them as Champagne. When they were here it was sparkling and was all well and good. But when the bottle is empty, well, we all know what that means.
The key for me is to recognize that I must move forward, leave it all behind me. And head back to the cellar for another bottle.
