- The know-it-all
- The late arriver
- The button-downed
- The always curious, always hungry, always thirsty.
- The odd man out
- The perpetual student
- The true believer
Let’s dig in!
The know-it-all – This attendee is pretty common to find in these kind of gatherings. Usually well read, maybe not always with as much “on the ground” experience. They live inside their head, which is populated by a lot of big words and gotcha questions, which serve as a means to an end. They tend to know how many MGA’s there are in Barolo but might not know which ones are more significant than others. Always one to raise a hand and ask questions so as to insert themselves solidly in the conversation, or debate, which it often becomes. Not the best listener in the room, but one who always wants to be seen and heard. Do not ask this person for the time – they will tell how the watch was made.
The late arriver
– This one always comes late, makes a commotion to find their seat. They
“arrive” late not just because they have
poor time management skills. They are often insecure, so to be seen entering
gives them a certain visibility that they feel they’d otherwise not have. Like
I said, insecurity is a benchmark of their personality. They often don’t know
the difference between Castelli di Jesi and Matelica but don’t care as they
think most Italian wine experts probably don’t know either. It’s all about the
entrance onto the stage. The problem is, they don’t have that many lines and
aside from their self-possession they really aren’t that interesting.
The buttoned-down – This one is a snappy dresser. A pen (or mechanical pencil) that works. A notebook, so as not to rely on pre-printed material that will be handed out. A bit of a geek, but can also loosen up and know they have a role but that isn’t just who they are. They are wine outliers in a world that has defaulted to wine slob. They usually have good memories and can put what they learn in a seminar to good use in their daily grind. They know the difference between La Morra and Castiglione Falletto. They love Bartolo Mascarello and Burlotto but would never turn down the opportunity to taste Bruno Giacosa or Aldo Conterno.
The always curious, always hungry, always thirsty – Let’s call him Bob. He’s worked in and around the wine trade all his life, but never really made it big. But he’s still kicking and, in the game, even though he’s getting a little long in the tooth. His idea of a vacation is to go to wine country and visit wineries, take notes, eat and drink ( not to excess, mind you) and learn, learn, learn! He will also be one asking questions, but usually not the “gotcha” ones the know-it-all asks. They might be esoteric and even arcane, but not overly snobby. Bob loves to learn, and learn by doing, which requires that he taste, taste, taste - ad infinitum. A Nebbiolo seminar with 30 wines is catnip to someone like Bob. So much learning!
The odd man (or woman) out – This soul is just out of place, not for anything that they have done or not done. They’re just odd in the first place and they stick out. It might be their blue hair streaks or the soiled Sperry Topsiders they wear with their rolled-up chinos. They just don’t fit in. And something like Nebbiolo will be an ongoing mystery to them. They won’t quite get it, but that won’t discourage them from trying, over and over, to get it. They are the ones that run a marathon and come in at 7 hours. They might have done it in 6 if they hadn’t worn the Sperry’s. But they ran it nonetheless. They are blissfully unaware, most of the time. But they are harmless.
The perpetual student – they never miss a seminar. If the Consorzio of Valle d’Aoste producers are in town, they will be there. Same for Godello producers. No stone unturned. Everything is up for grabs. They have reams and reams of filled up tasting books, going back to 1995. They steam labels off bottles and put them in binders. They photograph everything they drink and eat. They have a black cat at home named Nero. They are also harmless, but slightly more annoying than the odd-man-out.
The true believer – Wine is everything to this soul. They used to have a license plate holder which said “Life is a Cabernet” but they moved beyond Napa Valley and now belong to the Church of the thin-skinned grapes. Which was odd to see them at a Nebbiolo tasting. Maybe they were testing a theory. Or maybe it was a Monday and that was the best show in town (it was!). In any event, the true believer thinks wine is a miracle beverage. Don’t talk to them about Vodka or THC-based sodas. They will get all Savonarola on you in a second. No, wine is their religion and Heaven forbid the Surgeon General issues an edict about the deleterious effects of alcohol. Blasphemy!
So, there you have my snapshots. The world of wine houses a weird little cult. Innocent at best and sometimes aggravating. But just wait for the next harvest. It’ll all change. Again.
© written and photographed by Alfonso Cevola limited rights reserved On the Wine Trail in Italy
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