Gone Hollywood

A. How can we believe a man who would sell out his friends?
B. Who else are you supposed to sell out? You can't betray enemies!

I must admit, there is something about the persona of Luca Zaia that lends well to a merry pasquinade. Maybe it was the Chianti I had tonight. Or maybe it was the fava beans.

When I read a recent post, for some reason I just got into a riff and before you know it, we were breaking out the Time Machine and Photoshop and having a fine old time making light of the latest developments in Montalcino.

You can read all about it on Vino Wire. I'm taking the road less traveled to investigate the strange coincidence of similarities between Dr. Zaia and some famous folks from Hollywood. After all, he is loving the limelight, so why not cast him in the true light of celebrity and exult his magnanimousness?

Being born with a pair of beady eyes was the best

thing that ever happened to me. - Lee Van Cleef

Whether it's threatening winemakers or tending to mad cow disease, celebrity-heroes always have to be seen in action, doing things, making decisions. Don’t forget to bring the blackberry along in case something more important needs to be dealt with, like altering the nature of Brunello or making specific wine more universally nondescript.

Thank you Dr. Zaia, for going after weak insipid Brunello in Montalcino, rather than looking for tainted milk from China in Italy.

The Lone Ranger: Only you, Tonto, know I'm alive. To the world,

I'm buried here beside my brother and my friends... forever.
Tonto: You are alone now. Last man. You are lone ranger.
The Lone Ranger: Yes, Tonto, I am... the Lone Ranger

No, Dr. Zaia, you are the Lone Ranger.
Um, that right, Kemosabe.

I have hunted you so long, I have become you.

Dr. Zaia, you have become a modern day Zed
Zed: What is it you want?
Zaia: Sweet death. Oblivion.
Zed: For yourself, or for the whole Vortex?
Zaia: For Everybody. An end to the human race. It has plagued this pretty planet for far too long.
Zed: You stink of despair. Fight back! Fight for death, if that's what you want.
Zaia: I thought at first you were the one to help. But it's hopeless. All my powers have gone.

I think what I think. I hate you all.

I hate you all. I hate you all. Including me...

Zed: We've all been used...
Zaia: ...and reused...
Zed: ...and abused...
Zaia: ...and amused!
Zardoz: Zardoz is pleased.

How many times do I have to tell you?

Wear your gloves when you handle humans!

Zaia: A planet where rich red wine evolved from light,
delicate Sangiovese grapes? There's got to be an answer.
Zaius: Don't look for it. You may not like what you find.

Zaius: Have you forgotten your scripture, the thirteenth scroll? "And Proteus brought the upright beast into the garden and chained him to a tree and the children did make sport of him."
Zaia: Green grapes are good, all grapes are good, all grapes are Brunello.
Zaius: The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise. Your breed made a desert of it, ages ago.

Well, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?

Sangiovese, blood of Jove. Isn’t that enough to make Brunello a winner?
"I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having an old friend for dinner."

Never send a monkey to do a man's job.

written by Alfonso Cevola limited rights reserved On the Wine Trail in Italy